In the previous interview with the principal, we learned that children's education is inseparable from the two-way efforts of school education and family education.

在上一期的校长专访中，我们了解到，孩子的教育离不开学校教育与家庭教育的双向努力。

In this exclusive interview, we specially invited Ms. Lia, chairwoman of PFL, to share her parenting experience as the mother of twin brothers Ryan and Rayson. We have seen her exploration, communication, and parental thinking and efforts in her parenting journey.

本次的英伦人物专访栏目我们特别邀请到英伦学校家委会主席Lia女士，分享她作为双胞胎兄弟Ryan和Rayson的妈妈的育儿心得。我们看到她的育儿之路中有摸索、有沟通，也有家长的思考与努力。

BISGZ广州英伦学校，赞64

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Charity Story

公益故事

Helping Different Children 

多年坚持帮助各种儿童

Before the interview, we wanted to find out the unique and special things about Ms.Lia, besides being a parent. However, when it comes to her own special traits, what gratifies her the most is the charity and public welfare that she has done to help various children in those years.

在采访初期，我们曾想发掘Lia女士除了为人父母之外是否有其他的过人之处或非凡的身份。然而谈及自己的闪光点，她最津津乐道的其实是她那些年做过的帮助各种各样孩子们的慈善公益。

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"Parents like us like to help different children because we ourselves are people with children. I have participated in 'Smile Action' since 2016, which is a free operation for children with cleft lip and palate. As a volunteer, I communicate with children and parents to help them regain their self-confidence."

“像我们这些父母家长，因为自己是有孩子的人，然后就会更想去帮助不一样的孩子。我从2016年开始参加‘微笑行动’，是一个为那些唇腭裂的小朋友免费做手术的活动。我作为志愿者会去与孩子和家长们沟通交流，帮助他们恢复自信心。”

"After having my children, I started my learning journey as a parent and founded an organization with two other mothers that extended a series of courses in Adler's Psychology based on Positive Discipline. After the establishment of this organization, I also encouraged parents to participate in more charitable activities. For example, we visited a school that supported children with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND), and made contact with Xing’er (autistic children), we learned about the difficulties of public welfare educators, and connected with the inner world of children with SEND.”

“有了宝宝之后，我开始了为人父母的学习之路，与另外两位妈妈成立了一个由正面管教为基础的、延伸阿德勒心理学一系列课程的机构。成立了这个机构之后，我也组织身边的家长一起去参加更多的慈善活动。比如说我们去了一个特殊学校，与星儿（自闭症儿童）近距离接触，深入了解了公益教育工作者的不易，进入特殊儿童的内心世界。”

"In 2020, I was fortunate enough to obtain the position of the vice chairwoman of the Foshan Division Organizing Committee of MRS.GLOBE. You may think it is a beauty pageant. In fact, it is not just a beauty pageant, it has a charity theme. In addition to the Xing’er event, there are also visits to the elderly, and poverty relief activities.”

“2020年，我有幸参加了环球夫人佛山赛区组委会的副主席的职位，大家可能以为它是一个选美的活动，其实它不是单单是选美，它是每一个阶层的女性她都可以来参加的活动。它有慈善的主题，除了星儿活动，还有探访老人活动，走进基层的扶贫活动等。”

——Lia

❤

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Parenting Tips

育儿心得

Be a Good Role Model 

做好榜样的力量

So why does Ms. Lia do so many public welfare activities to help children? In addition to expressing her kindness, she also wants to set an example for children through these actions.

那么Lia女士为什么会做这么多帮助孩子的公益活动呢？除了表达自己的善心，她也想通过这些行动给孩子们做一个榜样。

Learn Drums with Kids

和孩子一起学架子鼓

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"I don't teach my children these principles every day, but I think it can be explained by actions. What I feel most is this: children don't care what you say, but see what you do, and then understand. "

“我不会每天跟我的孩子灌输这些说教的内容，但是我觉得可以用行动说明这一切。我最有感触的就是：孩子们不在乎你讲了什么道理，而是看你做了什么事情，然后get到那个点。他们的反射弧很有趣。”

"I remember an 'OK' event. We said to put the 'OK' gesture on the chin, but I put it on the cheek. A lot of parents were wondering why the gesture was there. It’s like when we usually get along with children, what you say is different from what you do. Children are very smart and can see it. So, I think actions speak louder than words.” 

“我记得一个‘ok’的活动。我们说要把‘ok’的手势放在下巴上，但是我放在了脸颊上。很多家长都就很疑问，为什么你说放在下巴上放到这里来了，是不是就好像相当于是我们平常跟孩子们相处的时候，你说了什么跟你做了什么是不一样的，孩子是很聪明的，就能看得到。所以我就觉得是行大于言。”

"A lot of times I'll be a role model for kids. For example, Ryan and Rayson are learning to play the drums. At first, they were very interested in playing the drums. But at a certain point, they started to get bored. And then I had an opportunity to sign up for a drum class. I was there when the kids were out of class. They saw me through the window and thought it was amazing. They thought mom was so awesome that she could play the drums. I was really moved at that moment, so I made up my mind to learn with them. Now we have two classes a week, and I go with the kids. I think it's fun to learn and grow with my kids."

“很多时候我都是自己能做的，就做一个榜样给孩子们。比如说现在Ryan和Rayson在学架子鼓，刚开始的时候他们饶有兴趣，但是他到了某一个阶段的时候，便开始乏味懈怠。然后我就刚好有个机会，报了架子鼓体验课。刚好我去体验的时候，孩子们下课了。他们经过玻璃窗看到我，觉得很不可思议。他们会觉得妈妈好厉害，竟然也会打架子鼓。那一刻我真的好感动，于是我下定了决心要跟他们一起学。现在我们是每周两次课，我就跟孩子们一起去上课。我觉得这挺有意思的，和孩子一起学习，一起进步。”

——Lia

Parents Can't Label Children

拒绝“标签化”

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"A lot of interesting things happen in parenting. For example, once we went to a drawing class, the parent of another child saw that both Ryan and Rayson would use scissors to cut out the patterns the teacher saw, and she praised our children for being good at using scissors. In fact, parents need to give their children a chance to try. Let them try to use the scissors once, and then know whether the children will use them."

“在育儿当中会发生很多趣事。比如说有一次我们去上画画课，另一个孩子的家长看到Ryan和Rayson都会用剪刀剪出老师说的那些图案出来，她就夸赞我们孩子好厉害，竟然会用剪刀。其实家长们需要给孩子尝试的机会，让他用一次剪刀，才知道孩子会不会用呀。”

"No matter how young a child is, they will respond to what you say. If they don’t respond, that's the best response. It's up to you how you receive the message. Ryan and Rayson also have temper tantrums, and they can't have a good relationship all the time. Everyone is an individual. We need to let them develop their different personalities, characters, and skills, and not always focus on what mistakes they made at that moment. Parents can't label a child just because the child's handwriting is bad or say that way of thinking is wrong and define them as a bad child or a child with poor grades. You simply can't see what their character and skills will look like when they grow up in 10 years from now or 18 years from now. There are so many factors that influence the development of children. As adults, how we got to where we are today is also a wonderful process. Parents can see all kinds of possibilities in their children through continuous learning. "

“孩子再小也会对你说的话有所回应。如果他没有回应也是一种最好的回应，就看你怎么去接收这个信息。Ryan和Rayson也是会有耍脾气的时候，两兄弟也不可能关系一直都很好。每个人都是独立的个体。我们需要静待花开地培养他们不一样的个性、品格和技能，而不是总是盯住他当下犯了什么错误。家长不能因为孩子字写得不好，或者思考方式不对，就把孩子标签化，就定义他是一个不好的孩子或者是个成绩差的孩子。你根本看不到他10年以后或者18年以后他长大了之后的品格和技能在哪里。因为孩子成长过程的影响因素太多了。作为大人，我们自己是如何到达今天的，也是一个很奇妙的一个过程。家长们通过不断学习，可以在孩子身上看到各种可能性。”

——Lia

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Connecting with BIS

与英伦学校结缘

Seeing Children’s Changes

看到孩子们的改变

The word "labelling" also connected Ms. Lia's fate with BIS. Why does she feel relieved to let her two children study at BIS? This started with an agreement about the philosophy of education.

“标签化”这个词也连接了Lia女士与英伦学校的缘分。为什么她放心地将两个孩子交予英伦学校教育，这要从一次感人的教育思想碰撞说起。

Sincerely and Firmly Choose BIS

奇妙面试经历，选择英伦学校

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"My children were about to go to kindergarten. When I saw that BIS had an open day, I came to visit the school. I had a different feeling. It felt like a warm and friendly environment, and the atmosphere was very good. Later, I made an appointment with the homeroom teacher of Nursery Mr. Michael for an interview and learned about his educational philosophy. I think educational philosophy is more critical to children in the early years stage. When I interviewed with Michael, I was most impressed that in his early education career of more than 20 years, there was one thing he regretted. He said there was a school in Spain where he was sorry for a little boy because he heard that the little boy was labelled as a naughty boy. But there is not enough time for him to understand this little boy. There is a saying that connection before correction. If you want to correct his behavior, you must have a deep connection with him, you must see the iceberg of his wrong behavior: What is the underlying logic of the following? Why does he behave this way? But it takes time to understand. Michael's point is very consistent with my educational philosophy. After listening to it, I was very moved, and even cried. It's a little embarrassing. But I thought the feelings are important, and it's okay to show my true feelings. Later, I was firm. I went home and told my husband that I had chosen the school and decided that it was BIS, and then we came. I will focus more on children's emotions and emotional expressions than academic performance."

“刚好当时我孩子准备上幼儿园了。我看到英伦学校有开放日我就来参观学校，有不一样的感觉，有一点点好像宿舍的温馨感觉，氛围挺好的。后来我就约了小班班主任Michael老师面试，了解他的教育理念，因为我觉得教育理念对孩子的启蒙阶段是比较关键的。当时和Michael面试的时候，我印象最深刻的是在他二十几年的一个早教生涯当中，就有一件事他是有很遗憾的。他说有在西班牙的一个学校，他对一个小男孩很遗憾，因为他当时听到这个小男孩被标签化了，说他是个顽皮的孩子。然而他却没有足够的时间去了解这个小男孩。我们学习的时候有一句话就是connection before correction，你想要纠正他这个行为，你必须跟他有很深的连接，你要看到他这个错误行为冰山下面的它的底层逻辑是什么，他为什么会有这个行为。但这个是需要时间去了解的。Michael的这一点跟我的教育理念很契合，我听后十分感动，甚至在流泪，有一点点尴尬。不过我觉得感情是流动的，真情流露是没问题的。后来我就坚定了，我回家跟我老公讲我已经选好学校了，决定就是英伦学校了，然后我们就来了。相比学习成绩，我会更关注孩子们情感和情绪表达。”

——Lia

Two Different Performances

两场演出见证孩子变化

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"After I entered the school, there was an opportunity to set up PFL. I understand the meaning of PFL which is Parents for Learning. I thought it would be a great opportunity for me to have more connections with my children and a chance to learn more about the school, so I decided to join. "

“进了学校之后，刚好有个机会是有家委会的成立。我明白PFL的意义，它不同于平常我们了解的是家委会，PFL是Parents for Learning。我想着这是个很好的机会能让我跟孩子有更多的连接的机会，还有更多了解学校的一个机会，然后我就果断过果断加入了。”

"After joining there were a series of activities, such as Family Fun Day, Winter Concert, CNY Celebrations, etc. On Family Fun Day, we had a booth where parents donated gifts, snacks and toys, we also did face painting, which attracted a lot of children. This activity allowed everyone to see that BIS and parents can cooperate better with each other, and it can be very successful.

“加入了之后有一系列的活动，比如说有Family Fun Day、冬季音乐会、春节庆典等。在Family Fun Day上，我们有一个摊位，家长们贡献了礼物，零食和玩具，还做了Face Painting，吸引了很多小朋友。这个活动让大家看得到学校还有家长之间能够更好的一个配合度，效果挺好的。”

"Next, came the Winter Concert and the CNY Celebrations. Before the Winter Concert, I asked parents to perform together. Why did I have this idea? Some kids get stage fright and don't want to go on stage. This is normal. I've talked to my children about courage before. People who perform on stage have a kind of courage, and people who watch offstage also have a kind of courage. It does not mean that your choice will affect your whole personality. But I think if there is a chance, we must strive to let the children see more possibilities. Then I gathered about 10 parents to rehearse and go on stage together. I think this activity connected parents better and allowed the children to see that we parents can cooperate well with others and take part in teamwork.”

“接下来是Winter Concert和春节庆典。在Winter Concert之前我就号召家长们一起来表演，这是上台给孩子们展示家长的一个机会。当时我为什么会有这个想法？有些孩子他会怯场，会不想上台表演，有一种我只是观看的态度。这是很正常的。我之前跟孩子们讲过勇气的主题。台上表演的人是一种勇气，台下观看的人也是一种勇气，这不代表说你的选择会影响到你整个人的个性。但是我想如果有机会的话，一定要争取让孩子们看得到更多的可能性。然后就召集了差不多10位家长，一起排练并上台表演。我觉得这个活动能够让家长们更好地联系在一起，让孩子们也看到我们家长是有一个合作的技能。”

"My children have also changed. During the Winter Concert, they stood on the stage and they felt shy, they did not want to move. After seeing the performance of the parents, on the stage of the CNY Celebrations, I noticed that my children were different. They can enjoy the performance on stage, no matter what action they did, whether they did it right or wrong and they performed well on stage. As parents, we also need to accept the imperfect part of ourselves, and it is also a good example for children to learn from."

“而且我的孩子们也发生了改变。在Winter Concert的时候他们站在台上不敢做动作。在看到家长们的表演后，在新年庆典舞台上，我就发现了我孩子的不一样。他能够很享受在台上的一个呈现，无论做什么动作，做对了也好，做错了也好，反正他们很享受在台上的或完美或不完美的表演。所以我们作为父母的话，也需要接纳自己不完美的一部分，也是一个很好的榜样，给孩子们去学习。”

——Lia

Winter Concert 

CNY Celebrations 

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Build the BIS Community Together

共建英伦社区

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"In terms of home-school cooperation, I also recommend that parents communicate more with the school. We are not just giving opinions, but working with the school to cooperate and communicate to create a better community. This allows our children to grow up healthily in such a high-quality environment. "

“家校合作方面，我也建议大家可以多跟学校去沟通。我们不只是提意见，而是和学校一起去合作、去沟通，共创一个更美好的社区，让我们的孩子处于这样的优质环境下健康成长。”

——Lia

Effective communication is important for building parent-school partnerships. We all have the same focus - helping the child on their unique learning journey and we do this better with clear communication and by working together as part of a team. 

有效的沟通对于建立家长与学校的伙伴关系很重要。我们都有相同的关注点——帮助孩子完成他们独特的学习之旅，我们通过清晰的沟通和作为团队的一部分一起工作来做得更好。